Are you a fun-loving individual who is creative and consistently comes up with new life changing idea’s ? Do you ever feel that people don’t understand your inquisitive nature for learning and your need to always be moving forward and upward ? Have people stopped listening to your new ideas, are you bound by procrastination and possible self loathing ? If there is anyone out there that feels similar to me please comment. Tell me how procrastination or depression may have held you back from accomplishing your ultimate goals in life.
My last post was so courageous and brave, written with the determination to prove to (or convince) myself that I was going to clean my whole place from top to bottom. Putting every thing in its place and sorting through all the shit I should have thrown out or put away a long time ago. The day after my last post I walked into my living room and decided to attempt to tackle my computer desk. It sits in front of a couple of over sized windows that just shed too much light on my “situation” even with the blinds closed. Suddenly it became apparent that my nails needed a new coat of polish and I just didn’t have enough time to do what ever it was I wanted plus clean off that desk. Needless to say that day I found a more enjoyable way to spend my precious time.
The first step I’m taking to stop procrastination is to organize my home. I moved last year and I never got around to unpacking everything. I know that may seem strange, but I could always think of an excuse to just “do it later.” Which I obviously never did. Today is Christmas and I’m spending it with my Mom,4 siblings,2 nieces,and husband. When I get home the plan is to get right to work cleaning, and putting things in their own place. I know I should be relaxing today but for the first time all year I feel like getting something done… It feels like I went through all of this past year with my eyes closed and now I’ve just decided to rub, and open them. My apartment looks like a tornado hit it so I probably have a couple of days work ahead of me and this weekend is just the perfect time to do it.
Just the word procrastination alone makes me sick to my stomach. I can remember the first time I heard my Father use that word. I over heard him discussing my poor study habits with my Mom. I was in the 4th grade, sitting on the couch after school playing Super Mario Bros with my younger siblings instead of doing my math home work. I had never even heard the word before then but I knew I didn’t like the way a knot formed in my gut the first time he said it to me. Don’t get me wrong I had a great Dad and a pretty good childhood growing up but my Father could use his words in ways that could make you feel invincible or could haunt you. He called it the gift of gab, sometimes I just wanted him to shut up… I say all this with a great love for him. He passed away suddenly on 03/10/2004 and there is not a day that goes by that I am not reminded of a little anecdote or the many words of encouragement that he gave to me every day of my life until he was gone.
In fact he is one of my biggest inspirations for starting this blog in the first place. He always told me not to be afraid to try new things so my goal is to do just that. I’m what you could call a text-book procrastinator. Not only do I procrastinate, I also never finish anything I start. In high school I always put off doing major projects until the last-minute, avoided cleaning my room until I was forced to do so by my Mom, etc. Now as an adult I put off doing my dishes till their all dirty. I’ve come up with major business ideas and never acted on them. Started writing a novel and never finished. Not to mention the countless times spent dieting and exercising only to regain all the weight without ever reaching my goal. Ever heard of fear of success?
With the help of this blog I plan to challenge myself every week to do something that improves my situation, and propels me closer to accomplishing some of the dreams and goals that I’ve had ever since I was a small child. I’m so excited I don’t even know where to start. I’m 29 years old and I feel like my life is just beginning. I am putting a lot of hope into this little blog. I expect it to hold me accountable when I cannot do so on my own.
procrastinationisbad 